CHOOSE THE UNCOMFORTABLE.

“We cannot choose the day or time when we will fully bloom. It happens in its own time.”  (Denis Waitley)   

WELLLLLL, it is never too late.  I may still be blooming!!  I like to think so, anyway.  The latest urge is to move to Paris.  I started immediately with the “but, how can I take the piano?  Should I sell the car? But, what about all of the artwork?  What will I do with all the dishes and pots and pans?  But, how will I let go of all of this?  I don’t have the money to take it all with me.”  and so forth……..  Interesting thing – in ALL of my arguments with myself, NEVER ONCE did I doubt I could do it!  My arguments all concern “letting go of stuff!!!!!!”  Then, I saw this:

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Caring Less? Or, Caring for Something Else More?  In the 1960’s, I cared about my hometown and my teaching position in Gainesville, Georgia, but I cared about “expanding my horizons” and trying my hand at either getting my PhD at UCLA in Theatre History or acting professionally more.  Lawrence Merrick, “if you REALLY want to, you will!”  (Merrick Studios on Vine Street in Hollywood.) So, I moved my family to uncomfortable, high-energy LA because I cared for Something Else more than my prestigious teaching position at Gainesville Junior College!   That’s not saying that any of them wanted to come with me.  But, they did.  I was very lucky because that was not easy for any of us to do.

Lots of life happened.  Long story for another time (read “Janet Tallulah” to get a taste of what I am talking about. Amazon has two editions listed on my page.  Go for the one with this cover.  Amazon has a mind of its own…..)

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In the 1990’s, I was living alone and comfortable in an apartment in Beverly Hills, and decided to go to Law School.  So, I moved my pets (2 cats and a dog) with me to Irvine, CA, and attended Whittier Law School because I needed a challenge to “recharge my batteries”!!   Once I graduated from Law School (1999), I got a job in Newport Beach, California, with a wonderful attorney.  She was “grooming” me to take over her Orange County Wills and Trusts Law Practice as soon as I passed the California Bar Exam because she and her husband wanted to open a branch of her firm in Palm Desert, CA.  Guess what!! 

In 2000, when I passed the CalBar and was set to take over a successful law practice with existing clients in one of the most desired locations in California – pristine Newport Beach, I TURNED IT DOWN!!!  I moved back to uncomfortable, high-energy LA.  ??????  What????? Was I crazy?  No, I wanted to go back to L.A. more – with all of its graffiti and pot-holes in the streets with road construction everywhere.

Lots of life happened.  That long story has yet to be written. 

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In 2015, when I was a successful lawyer – Law Offices of Jay W. MacIntosh, I gave cases away and moved with my husband, Steve Orlandella, to FRANCE!!!!  What??????  We both needed a change to “recharge our batteries.” 

Lots of life happened.  Long story for another time (read “Jayspeak on the Cote d’Azur” to get a taste of what I am talking about.)

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Fast Forward to TODAY.  Once again, I need to “recharge my battery”.  I have a comfortable apartment with a large patio in Nice, France.  I have my cat Missy to love me.   I have good friends.  People in my neighborhood know me and are friendly with my broken French.  And, I am planning to move to uncomfortable Paris.  What???????  Yes. It is the only way I know to stay engaged in life.  I know some people.  I speak some French.  It is the only way I know to give my life a “jump-start”.  Besides, I still have places I want to go and things I want to learn.  If I stay here, I am afraid that I will get comfortable and wait to die.  It’s gorgeous here. What’s not to love???  I need to be uncomfortable. Steve’s death was NOT OK.  Too uncomfortable.  It really got to me.  Big time.  But, I am getting better, and my health is good (as far as I know).  So, I am taking steps to jump once again into the deep water. Or, “stick my hand into the fire to see if it is hot!!” – as Daddy would say.  

NOW, I RETAIN THE RIGHT TO CHANGE MY MIND.  At any point, I may decide not to do this.  But, the thought of getting an agent in Paris, practicing U.S. Entertainment Law with a Paris address, and meeting new, interesting people, is very exciting to me.  I need to stay engaged in life right now.  I could very easily sit down on the sofa and watch television.  Go to an excellent restaurant for lunch.  Shop the stores.  But, I cannot stay comfortable.    And, if I just sit around and think about things, that is the best way for me to feel depressed and full of despair.  So, I am going for it!  ……. I think.  Haha.  I will drive us both crazy, weighing the pros and cons.  

Well, for the record, I NEVER weighed Pros and Cons.  The Cons are aways more numerous.  BUT, the Pros have it!!!  Staying engaged in LIFE!!! No matter my age.  Wish me luck. I am still saving things from Facebook that speak to me.  Thank you for sharing, whoever you are.

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And a few good cartoons for the road……  WHAT??????

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Best, Jay 

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A MOMENT’S PAUSE…..

80+ in France "Empowering Women"!

I can no longer put it off – this March, I will definitely be “in my 80s”.  Somehow, 80 and 81 seemed to be somewhere else.  But, 82 is different.  As they say in “Waiting for Godot” – “nothing to be done”.  OK, I must accept it because it is definitely better than the alternative.  My attitude is the problem.  I keep telling myself to behave, but ……

Plus, this birthday, my California Driver’s License expires.  To renew in the U.S., I must have a permanent address in California AND take the written test because I am “in my 80’s”.   Here, I must take the written test in French – long story, AND a driving test since I am “in my 80’s” – long story.  A Driving School must test my driving skills, give me lessons that I must take (650+ euros)!  Then, get in line for the actual document!!!! …

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A MOMENT OF REFLECTION….and a laugh or three….

80+ in France "Empowering Women"!

One of the things I have noticed here is that EVERYONE has a back story.  And, everyone uses labels.  When I first arrived in Nice, I asked people about their back stories (I did not call them that.). Every back story took a LOT of questions.  Where are you from?  How did you get to Nice?  Why Nice?  Oh, my goodness, Australia?  But, you are from the U.K., right?  How did you get to Australia? You lived on a boat?  How long were you in Australia on the boat?  What did that entail?  Was that interesting?  How did you learn to do that?  Where is your sister now?  And, so forth.  And, the longer I would listen and question, the more that person seemed to remember me and be interested in what I had to say.  

At first, I did not want to talk about Steve, his death, my life…

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“Jayspeak on the Côte d’Azur”

80+ in France "Empowering Women"!

I am very excited because this week I received in the mail, eight “Authors’ Copies”of my published book Jayspeak on the Côte d’Azur. To all my French friends, please forgive me for omitting the required symbol on Côte.  Think of it as another blunder committed by this U.S. Expat.  Ugh.  But, it will have to stay this way for now.  Sorry.   I am very proud of this book.  It is a filled with memories and pictures of my time in Nice since I arrived October 1, 2015, and stepped off the plane in my new home – Nice, France.  It is the background, filled with my days and nights before and after the sudden death of my husband Steve.  And the book is dedicated to him.  If you want to read it, I think you will enjoy it.  I will post a link to it at the bottom of this post. …

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LIMITATIONS

61 years ago, February 23, 1958, my beautiful daughter, Tracy Lee MacIntyre, was born in Baptist Memorial Hospital in San Antonio, Texas, at 4:11 p.m.  The doctor was Dr, Alfred Celaya and the nurse was Mrs. Nimitz.  Darrell was a Second Lieutenant in the Army, stationed at Fort Sam Houston for a two-year requirement in R.O.T.C. before going back to Law School.  We were living at 247 Emporia Boulevard, Apt. 7, San Antonio, TX.  She weighed 7 lbs, 4 1/2 oz. and was 18″ long.  I was in Room 301.  

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I was planning to write more about her because I love/loved her very much and thought we would be friends forever.  It is difficult to do. She went on to graduate from UCLA with a degree in classical guitar, and graduate with her masters degree and PhD from Pepperdine in child psychology. 

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She has lived most of her life in Colorado Springs, CO.  But, I don’t know much else about her. We have lived a lifetime apart.  Somewhere along the way, something went very wrong.  A lot of accusations were made.  I will never know whether they are/were true or not.  I had difficulty accepting them at the time.  These days, I think they were/are true.  But, you think you know someone, and you don’t.  I have not seen her since 1999 – 20 years ago.  I was so happy that we were getting along.  

IMG_1684-1Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her, want to see her, wonder who she is, and what she is like.  But, we never could get along as adults.  Both of us are culpable.  Long story that will probably remain unwritten.  But, on this, her 61st birthday, I wish her well and hope she is surrounded by good friends who love her and lots of loving dogs and beautiful cats.  This morning, I walked to Notre Dame and lit two candles for us, thinking about limitations. At 81, going on 82, and a limited budget, I am now subject to limitations that I didn’t have before.  Is that an excuse?  I am not sure. We both have suffered heartache. I am not sure that I can repair anything at this late date.  I don’t think I can repair much of anything.

Are “limitations” merely an excuse/  Limitations……….

Have you even thought about the fact that we are always dealing with limits of one sort or another – they never seem to stop.  This morning, I was thinking that I am stopped from doing some things I want to do because of my age.  Not that I cannot do them, or cannot afford them, or do not want them, but solely because of my age – 81, going on 82.  I am supposed to be “old” – no matter whether I feel or look old, or not.  Ugh.  I HATE that !  Now, granted there are some things that I CANNOT do, but I am not talking about those things.  

At the other end of the spectrum, I had to wait – until I was 13, until I was 16, until I was 18, until I was 21, THEN LIFE HAPPENED until I was 65, then it became “before” – before 60, before 65, before 75, before 80, before death.  Ugh.  I HATE that ! Now, a lot of this is country-specific.  In France, I cannot get a mortgage after 75.  Not true in the U.S.  A lot of French people won’t rent to me because I am going to rent their apartment and DIE there.  NO, I AM NOT!!!!!   Or that I am from the U.S. and will not pay my rent because I am retired with income in the U.S., not France. Ugh.  YES, I WILL!!! 

As an actress, I knew to learn the limits (the rules) before I did anything. Most of them were unwritten.  As an attorney, I had to deal with limits and laws, starting in Law School and going from there.  Most of those were written.  With both sets of rules, I learned the ones I could break and those that I could not break.  Same with dating, marriage, and having children.  “Having and keeping friends” has its own set of rules, most people setting what they – knowingly or unknowingly – call “boundaries”.  

In France, I am really confused.  Everything is different.  People are here from all over the world and each one of them with his/her own set of boundaries.  Nothing is what it seems or even familiar.  So, I am constantly groping around in the dark, feeling the walls for a light switch.  

Maybe some of you can identify with some of this. A lot reminiscing and rambling and regretting, and …….  on it goes.  As the French would say, C’est La Vie!  As the Americans would say, “Get a life!”  

Best, Jay

 

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CARNAVAL DE NICE

This is my 4th February in Nice, and I STILL have not gone to a Carnaval Parade.  Why, you ask?  …Well, it could be because I don’t like events with crowds.  Never did – except for the GHS football games.  But, rock concerts and such, no.  I liked to go to the Hollywood Bowl.  That was an exception.  Or it could because I still have vivid memories of the 2016 Nice terror attack and my horror at how close we came to being there.  Many of our friends were there.  Steve and I happened to be on vacation in Sardinia, coming home the next day. 

What is the Carnaval de Nice?  Well, here is a tad of background. Carnival is the most important Winter event on the French Riviera and has been run since the Middle-Ages.  In the Ancient Times, the Winter solstice was an occasion for pagan festivals and renewal celebrations. The word ‘carnival’ derives from the Latin ‘carnelevare‘ meaning ‘to take out the meat’.  The medieval Church banished meat from the table during the whole period of Lent, as it did with sugar, ingredients containing fat, eggs and dairy products. Before the start of the fasting period of Lent (on Ash Wednesday), people had fun running Carnivals as it was their last chance until Easter to eat meat. The celebration was also a way to chase off the gloom of winter in the hope of Spring.”

“The first mention of a Carnival festival in Nice dates back to 1294 when Charles of Anjou, Count of Provence and King of Sicily, mentioned the ‘Joyful days of the Carnival’ during a stay in the city. Until the 19th century the Nice Carnival was a street party without organized parades. In 1830 Charles-Felix, King of Sardinia and Duke of Savoy (1765-1831), and Queen Maria Cristina of Naples and Sicily came to Nice at the time of the carnival. To mark the royal visit, the city’s local authorities organized the first parade in their honour. Prominent residents of Nice dressed in elegant costumes paraded on decorated carriages past the palace balcony.”   

In February 2016, Steve and I were just beginning to explore our new home.  We did not know that much about Carnaval.  Also, we lived on one of the hills here – Cimiez, and the festivities were down in Nice Centre. 

In February 2017, I was a student at Alliance Francaise, and participated in their Carnaval photography contest. I wrote about that in JAYSPEAK, posting many of my photographs and the photographs of the winners. That theme was King of Energy!

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In February 2018, I vowed to go to a Carnaval Parade.  I didn’t.  I don’t remember why – probably because I had moved down into Nice Centre and was still getting used to the crowds and congestion that was going on in town, especially during Carnaval weeks.   

Now, it is February 2019. If I get a chance, I plan to show up during one of the Parades during the day. The bleachers are huge, and the crowds are immense!! It would be nice to know someone with a balcony on the Parade Route.  That’s the best way to watch!!

The first parade was a success and was renewed the following years in the absence of the king. The people of Nice made themselves of king of straw and old clothes and placed him on the palace balcony. In 1882 it was decided that the mock king should participate in the parade by signalling the beginning of the festivities. This explains why the arrival of the royal float with its gigantic character is such an important moment during the Nice Carnival.”  

It is tradition for the king to preside over the carnival on the Place Masséna during the whole time of the festivities. On the final night of the carnival, the effigy of the king is put out to sea on a little boat and burned before the traditional fireworks of the Bay of Angels.  The carnival is a modern, high-quality show with a creative procession of floats made up of two different events: the Carnival Parade and the Flower Parade.”

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TONIGHT!  IT ALL STARTS TONIGHT!!  This year, the king is King of Cinema I tried to find a picture of him to post. Someone has one on Instagram, so I will find one at some point and post it. I know my curiosity and free spirit approach to life will prevail, and I will show up at a Parade at some point.  It sounds and looks like a LOT of fun!! And a once-in-a-lifetime experience.  I will take pictures and post them from time to time.  The floats are great!!!

...Copyright © French Moments Ltd unless otherwise stated. 

Best, Jay

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A FIRESIDE CHAT

It is raining on my patio.  Well, the tiles are wet.  A good day for chatting with you about a lot of nothing.  I have a lot on my mind, but nothing I want to commit to paper….. yet.  So, just a moment to have a cup of tea with you and chat. 

February is a good month to reevaluate a lot of things.  Re-sort my mind.  I have also “been under the weather” this week with a bad cold.  I would have called this the “flu” before a friend said it was a bad cold because – if it had been the flu, I would still be in bed.  I don’t think people have “colds” anymore, do they?  Whatever it is called, it starts with a sore throat, progresses in the nose, travels into the chest, feels and sounds croupy, then just aches a lot.  It was bad enough on Tuesday for me to start antibiotics because it was so bad in my chest.  So, even though on Friday and on Saturday, I met friends for lunch, I did not feel well. But, I had made the lunch dates several weeks ago and wanted to keep the commitments.  So I did.  But, I crashed when I got home both days.  So far, so good.  

These days, I am still in knee-replacement recovery mode.  But, soon, I will begin some “SeaTreks”.  Hopefully, I will get some good photos for you to enjoy.  But, right now, I am just “saving” things and photographs that catch my eye on Facebook.  AMAZING photos are on my Instagram feed.  But, I cannot save them the same way.  I have other photographers who I “follow” on Instagram and their shots of Nice are breathtaking.  They also follow me, but I am behind schedule because of my lack of current shots.  That will soon change, but right now, I am enjoying the work of others. 

These are some of the things I have saved from Facebook in January and February.  Just shots and sayings I like.  

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See what I mean!!!  Aren’t those two shots beautiful????  And, sayings or shots that speak to me…..

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AND, important reminders…….

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A joke…….

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A tad of politics, just because……

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Some shameless self promotion…….

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A tad of “ADVICE” to young and old……

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AND, A GOOD TIME IS HAD BY ALL!!!!!!

Best, Jay

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CARTOONS & COMMENTARIES

Every now and then, you know that I like to post cartoons and commentaries that I like, especially when I want to post something and don’t feel inspired to write original material.  This is one of those days.  My mind is spinning today with so many things to worry about, so here goes just a fun post for me. I hope you enjoy it, too.

FIRST, the cartoons

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NOW, the fun commentaries…

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Best, Jay

 

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JIM MASTERS ON CUTV-NEWS-RADIO IS FEELING INSPIRED

This is what Jim Masters posted on his Facebook page yesterday, January 16, 2019:

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*She’s worked on movies with the Beatles (Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band), the Bee Gees, Peter Frampton, she’s appeared in countless TV shows, films and commercials. Today LIVE and direct from Nice, France @ 11am eastern, I’ll have the great pleasure of interviewing actress. attorney, real estate agent, college professor, and author Jay W. MacIntosh. MacIntosh is author of several books including Janet Tallulah, The Origins of George Bernard Shaw’s Life Force Philosophy, Moments in Time, Capturing Beauty, and Jayspeak on the Côte d’Azu. She attributes her go-getter attitude and fearlessness to her father’s remarkable leadership skills he instilled with her when she was a very young child. After graduating from the University of Georgia with her master’s degree, Jay became a college Professor landing Head of the Department of Drama at Brenau College (now Brenau University) and Chairman of Division of Humanities for a branch of the University of Georgia. Afterwards, Jay, went into acting, began a lucrative career in real estate, and at the age of 62 graduated from law school and was ultimately recognized as a Super Lawyer. After moving to the south of France, she published seven books. Jay W. MacIntosh joins me LIVE @ 11am eastern on CUTV News Radio worldwide.”

FOLLOW-UP JIM MASTERS COMMENTS:

JM:    ”She was a joy, a hoot and a real pleasure to welcome to the show and interview. Looking forward to more soon too!”

JWM:  “I loved every minute!”

Live link to the entire interview for those who may be interested:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/cutvnewsradio/2019/01/16/cutv-news-radio-spotlights-super-lawyer-jay-w-macintosh

Best, Jay

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EMPOWERING WOMEN – CUTVNEWS RADIO

At this time in my life, when I am all but retired and still fighting to stay in the game, somehow, I came to the attention of CUTVnews Radio and their series “EMPOWERING WOMEN”.  Tomorrow, I will be interviewed live by Jim Masters about my life on the radio.  It will air at 10:00 a.m. EST.  That will be 4:00 p.m. here in Nice.  This is the direct link to the show, if you are interested.  I have no idea what will happen, but I can tell you this!  It will be fun!  I LOVE doing things like this.  

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/cutvnewsradio/2019/01/16/cutv-news-radio-spotlights-super-lawyer-jay-w-macintosh.

Best, Jay

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